Having depression, anxiety and idiopathic hypersomnia is a horrible combination, as are the medications that are usually prescribed for these three, as they all seem to counteract the other's purpose. I have my okay days and I have my really lousy days, at least until we get the right combination of meds going for me.
Been reading the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. Only a few chapters in and I'm finding that the book is not about being forever single and celibate, but about not playing the dating game. Be friends with those of the opposite sex until the Lord lets you know who you're supposed to be with. Then go straight ,into what we call, into a committed relationship that leads to marriage. I'm totally with him on the whole dating things. It was fun in my teens and twenties, but painful too. As I've gotten older, the feeling have often gotten deeper and so has the hurt.
I also woke up to an unexpected text this morning from someone who hurt me. My response was to make it perfectly clear why this, in particular, hurt so badly. It was an unhealthy relationship from the start and the Lord told me on many occasions to end things with him, but I didn't. Yeah, I'll admit it. I chose him over God. And the result...a major heartache for me, one that could've been avoided if I'd just listen to God.
Update: Now he wants to talk on the phone. I am but a fragile China doll right now. The slightest bump in the road can be like making a mole hill into a mountain. Lesson plans for one of my two classes still to write and I can't concentrate to save my life fight now.
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