Empty

I can't explain why, but I've just felt empty, yet full of pain in my heart, very lonely.  No matter what or how much of my drugs that I take, all I want to do is sleep.  I have no motivation to do anything.  I'm taking my meds to sleep as early as 8 pm the last couple of nights.  I've napped several hours during the day and just don't feel fully awake and alert when I'm awake.  Coordination is off a little too.  Still upset about not going anywhere this past week or weekend.  Didn't even see Julie and the kids. Only got one text from her yesterday. Texted Tracy to try to get her to go out Friday and she was too tired.  Last night she was sore from hurting her knee doing something. I'm just so incredibly lonely.  I know that if I sleep, the time will pass until I am supposed to do something or go somewhere.  I have so much to do here at home but have NO motivation whatsoever to do a thing.  I haven't been this depressed since I first left school.  I'm anxious to see what Joey will say at my next appointment about my meds. I don't know what to take and what not to anymore.