A shower and WalMart

It's been a few days since I've felt like doing much, even getting on the computer, which is bad for me.  I took a shower for the first time since Saturday mainly because I couldn't stand my stank anymore and didn't want to embarrass myself in front of Tracy.  But she called it, and saw right through it.  We had a good session this afternoon, as usual.  Tracy has been a Godsend for me.  She gets me, even on the first visit.  I took a lot from our session today, but what I'm spending the most time thinking about is "trust".  I think God is sending me a message, some of it coming loud and clear.  1) Do return back to the classroom.  TRUST in Him to take care of my financially with or without a job.  2) I'm never going to find the man I'm meant to marry until I've worked on me and have my relationship with Him in order.  That requires me to OBEY Him and what He commands.  I believe God is telling me, mostly through Perry's sermons, that I will not find what I'm looking for if sex is involved.  It's been "my" way for all of these years, and what do I have to show for it?  And to stop looking for it.  God will send him my way when the time is right and I am ready (as well as him).

And yes, the meds continue to be a problem.  Trying something different.  Gonna take the prozac at night, especially since it's always made me a little sleepy.  Now we'll see what the Wellbutrin does when taking it by itself.  I'm exhausted from the afternoon of errands.  Only 5 hours.  Even my legs ached.  I'm wasting away to nothing.  Going to work on that starting tonight.  Eating so late with the meds not at their peak performance....I'm able to eat more than I have been.  Let's home the quantity doesn't make me sick as it has recently.  My stomach must be miniscule at this point.  But I got a lot accomplished today and that feels good.  It's 8:15 pm and this is about as normal as I felt all day.  This is my "sweet spot" in my schedule.   I can get things done without being depressed or anxious, most of the time.  I do feel like I could go to bed pretty soon though.  I didn't get much of a nap earlier today.  But tomorrow is another day, with more challenges and time to rest.